lilacbreastedroller:

wild how like PCOS, endometriosis, vaginismus & hell, even frequent yeast infections are “mysterious” with no well known cause and little to no decent treatment, but we have tons of supposedly well researched body fat removal methods, about 20 different kinds of breast implants, laser hair removal, and 100 different dermatologist recommended anti aging creams. we sure had the money and brainpower to cure those “diseases”

(via yellowmarshmallows)

alexaloraetheris:

qualityfarmprofessorpaper-blog:

You know when Terry Pratchett said ‘It doesn’t stop being magic just because you know how it works’? Yeah, he meant this.

(via modmad)

derinthescarletpescatarian:

lumeninfusco:

lumeninfusco:

thyrell:

thyrell:

elon musk had a third child with grimes that he kept secret until the release of his biography. he named it techno mechanicus

can you imagine being an adult nepo baby at a company your rich dad invested in and having to walk into the boardroom first day like. hi everyone. my name is techno mechanicus

I can tell this is fake because “techno mechanicus” doesn’t start with X

OH SON OF A BITCH

Screenshot of an article about Elon Musk's biography. Quote: "him. The musician Grimes, the mother of three of Musk's children (the existence of the third, Techno Mechanicus, nicknamed Tau, has been kept private until now), calls his roiling anger "demon mode" - a mindset that "causes a lot of chaost." She also" End quote The word "Tau" in the described passage is highlighted.ALT
Screenshot of a wikipedia page about "Tau". It reads: "Tau was derived from the Phoenician letter taw" followed by a character that closely resembles the roman alphanumeric letter X. The implication being that Elon has named yet another human being some variant of the letter X.ALT

I haven’t been reblogging this post because I genuinely assumed you guys were Goncharoving a nepo baby

(via viralarcadian)

meg-moira:

lizsmokesloud:

@nathanwpyle

I literally love this.

I couldn’t stop laughing for 20 minutes.

No joke.

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This has the same energy as a writer desperately trying to make their insanely cool but devastatingly off the wall plot point work with the rest of the story

(via yellowmarshmallows)

dontlistentothemmoose:

nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early 
astronaut: moon’s stuck in a time loop. 
nasa employee: what? 
astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon’s stuck in a time loop.

nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early 
astronaut: moon’s stuck in a time loop. 
nasa employee: what? 
astronaut: *loading a pistol* moon’s stuck in a time loop. do you have extra ammo? this won’t be enough.
nasa employee: enough for…what?
astronaut: *finding extra clip of ammo, pocketing it, and getting back on the rocket-ship* don’t worry about it!

nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early 
astronaut: moon’s stuck in a time loop.
nasa employee: what? 
astronaut: *emerging from supply closet with a space harpoon, getting back on the rocket-ship* moon’s stuck in a time loop.

nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early  astronaut:   oh hey u guys are back early
astronaut: moon’s stuck in a time loop. 
nasa employee: what? 
astronaut: what? 
nasa employee: how did you know what i was going to say? 
astronaut: *punching in key pad code for base evacuation signal, getting back on the rocket-ship* i told you…moon’s stuck in a time loop.
*red warning lights begin flashing*

nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early 
astronaut: moon’s stuck in a time loop. 
nasa employee: what? 
astronaut: *rifling thru bookshelf of operating instructions, selecting one that says “AIRLOCK MANUAL OVERRIDE INSTRUCTIONS,” getting back on the rocket-ship* moon’s stuck in a time loop.

nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early 
astronaut: moon’s stuck in a time loop. 
nasa employee: what? 
astronaut: moon’s stuck in a time loop. hey, do you have anything to eat? i’m starving. *opens random drawer, finds nothing, closes it*
nasa employee: a time loo- uh, we don’t have food in here…we can’t…eat in the control room, only the break-room.
astronaut: *sighs*
nasa employee:…my lunch is in like 10 minutes, though, and if my lunch is actually STILL THERE and not STOLEN, AGAIN, i can share it with yo-
astronaut: nah, that’s ok…no time. *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* or…too much time. but thanks, anyway. OK, bye!
*alarm begins blaring*
nasa employee: you’re…welcome? wait, a TIME LOOP?!

Keep reading

(via enekorre)

greatmountainfloofsquatch:

dontcallmebymyusername:

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Does this count as finding a walrus at your door?

Well, I’m sure it was surprising.

(via yellowmarshmallows)

THEYCALL IT ITHE XBOX ONE BECAUSE

itwashotwestayedinthewater:

nervoussubject9000:

itwashotwestayedinthewater:

itwashotwestayedinthewater:

you take 1 look and you fuck the x box 

10 years strong

I was 5 years old when this was posted

😧

(via yellowmarshmallows)

charlottan:

its like you dont even want to sell your life to a corporation

(via hungwy)

amultitudeofsins:

illithidjamison:

amultitudeofsins:

If your tummy itches when you wear jeans, you have a nickel allergy and should paint the back of the buttion with nail polish. Okay I am going into the woods forever now. I love you.

WHAT

Sensitivity to nickel is extremely common amd despite this, clothing manufacturers often use it because it is cheap. A coat or two of nail polish is an effective barrier between the allergen and your skin. Goodbye forever. Do not forget my wisdom

(via sunshinedarlingiloveyou)

biocrafthero:

crystallizedtwilight:

People I met for a few moments that live in my head forever.

Babe are you okay? You reblogged crystallizedtwilight’s Strangers that live with me forever. again

(via paraducksspace)

gayestpiano:

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i made a playlist of song titles in chronological order

(via dimetrodone)